What's on my mind

[Gabrielle]

A lot on my mind right now...it's not all of a deep nature. I did an I Ching read and for the most part it was positive, but it predicted 'Obstacles' for the month of September and it's already coming true. I got upset at my dad because he was so insistent that all this 'energy' stuff is fake. It built upon how psychic readings are scams. It didn't feel fair because I decided not to pay for the reading though I wanted to, yet he still lectured me on how it was fake. It was frustrating. It is frustrating to be told to deny something you believe because others don't believe it. He isn't open to the groups of people that do. If he knew there are actually more people that experience paranormal then he'd probably be more open. lnstead he looks upon them with mistrust and suspicion. I don't want all that paranoia to be transferred onto me or my life but that's what happens with parents.

I have been more intuitive to empathetic energy and this 'cushion' of meditative energies that helps me feel. I have been listening to some Zen podcasts, but sometimes the Zen to me is so 'I need to be perfect.' I need to be like a child. I need to lose the attitude and mind. I like being who I am without surrendering to forces. I am split between two modes of thought right now: Are we to accept that things change and nothing is permanent, Like Taoism and let things flow.
Or are we to try to control situations and build permanence? Should we control circumstances or should we just let them happen and perceive them with a suspended belief system. It's just so much...while I want not to wrap my mind around it. I feel like I need to right now. I feel called to. I'm worried it might be chemical imbalances that cause all this deep spiritual yearning because I was fine and then I started taking a medication and all the sudden this spiritual resonance and craving. I can't seem to make anyone understand.

I am experiencing darkness right now. Depression or I am just overwhelmed. If I atempt to get into these states where I start to lose my control...or....become ONE then everything is in sync as I experience it but this is probably me filtering things that way is what I've realized. I watched a TK video on Youtube. People commented on how it was amazing and he said he was proud of it. This guy is for real I think but I didn't even see it move AT ALL. I mean I know it's possible he could have said all that and just convinced himself it worked....but i saw what I believed not what he believed. It's all kind of freakish if people would wake up to it they'd know what I mean.

I wish I felt better though right now I am not feeling well. Female hormones get effected by the moon. I was so elated and maybe that's why because of the change of seasons. I always get depressed around October and I hate to see things get cold...so I'm trying to adapt. It helps to learn about the elements and how they effect us.

[Phoenix Alarius]

Well, in ways, MOST psychic stuff are scams and money-making schemes. Because of that, it's made the real ones look fake. They've ruined it for a lot of the real people. Many people don't understand that it really exists, but you can't really blame them. Society has sort of engineered it that way.

Keep your head up, great post :-)